Memories Reborn
by Kind-Nepenthe
Summary: A story about Jean Grey coming to terms with her past and her love life. Contains 2 chapters and adding more as the story goes.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the x-men characters (I wish I did) and I am making no money with writing this story so please do not sue. I have no money to give anyway.

Feedback: Would be lovely.

Memories Reborn:

Chapter 1

Jean Grey woke with a start. She sat up, taking in deep breaths, and looked at the clock by her bed side. It read 3am. Another nightmare tonight. 

They always made her feel uneasy and scared, yet there was a part of the dream that she wanted to go back to. It comforted her. She felt things in that dream that she almost seemed to miss. It was making her feel crazy. Like something wasn't right. Like the world she knew was turned upside down and inside out.

Jean tried to remember what the dream was about but she couldn't. Just feelings and emotions came flooding back, frustrating her.

She shook off the feeling and looked down at the man by her side. Her beloved husband. She was glad she didn't wake him up again. It was the 4th night in a row that she had awoken from these horrible dreams, and she didn't want to cause him another sleepless night because of it.

She bent down and kissed him on the forehead. As she did his eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her.

"Another dream?" he asked, sitting up.

"Yeh, but not as bad this time. It's okay." She gave him another light kiss on his cheek.

"You sure? You look pretty shaken up. I wish you'd just tell me what these dreams are about so I could help." 

He had a concerned look on his face, which made Jean smile. She knew he just wanted to help make her feel better. "No really. I'm fine. Now lets get back to bed."

They both laid back down and faced each other. He gave her a kiss and ran his hands through her hair.

"You know, I really love you Red."

A sudden sadness came over her. She couldn't explain it. It felt like she was missing a part of herself. She looked at the man lying next to her and thought it must only be the dreams, she just had to forget them.

"I know you do. I love you too Logan."

Soon he fell asleep. She on the other hand, was wide awake until he awoke the next morning. She couldn't sleep. The emotions and feelings had just kept flooding in. Pushing at her mind and her heart until she thought she would burst. She had to talk to someone about it. It just seemed so real. Memories seemed to fill her head. Invade every part of her being. Making her feel insane, like she was being ripped in two.

"Red? Are you okay?" Logan looked as Jean with concern. She was as pale as a ghost and he could tell she'd been crying.

"There's something wrong with me." she mumbled through weak lips. Tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

Logan went to take Jean in his arms but she pulled away.

"No!" she shouted at him.

He had never heard her shout like that at someone, especially him.

"I need the professor Logan. I feel like I'm going crazy."

*****************************************************************

"She'll be fine Logan. Please go now. I'll take good care of her."

Logan had followed Jean to Professor's study and now had to leave her alone after what happened in their room. He knew Jean was in good hands but the way she had looked at him earlier, the disgust on her face, the fear in her voice. Nothing was right about it. He didn't want to leave her side.

"I know Chuck.. But damn! If you would have seen how scared she was. How she looked at me!"

"Logan please calm down. I'm going to try and talk to her. I'm afraid what had been repressed from her memory is finally breaking through. I'd like to know what her dreams have been about before I take any further actions. Now please go." 

Logan stood there for a moment. Fear coming across his face. He knew what memories the Professor was talking about. It was before them. Before Logan became Jean's husband. He was scared she would remember everything and he would have to give up all he loved.

The Professor practically shoved Logan out the door. He knew the man had fears of this happening. Everyone assumed that one day it would happen. That Jean would finally remember her past. Her life before the Phoenix.

He watched Logan saunter down the hall before finally turning his attention back to Jean.

"Now Jean, I'm going to ask you to tell me your story in full. If you can't handle it, let me enter your mind and see what your fears are. I need to know exactly what it is that you find so traumatizing. It's the only way we can fix it." The Professor took Jean's hand and tried to comfort her. She looked down at their hands and felt a twinge of betrayal, of hurt.

The professor felt her reaction and let her hand go. *Please Jean. I beg you.*

*I'm sorry Charles. I don't know why I did that.*

Jean felt the Professor in her mind. She didn't stop him. She closed her eyes and opened her mind for him. This was the only way she could even tell him about the dreams. She needed his help to find where these powerful feelings were coming from.

*****************************************************************

The depths of her mind were dark. The walls dripped and burned with a black fire unlike anything he had ever seen. The professor looked around and could see nothing. Just burning walls and a sky lit ceiling. Suddenly Jean appeared in front of him. Her face full of sadness and pain.

*Jean, show me what is bothering you. Trust me Jean.*

Jean grabbed the Professor's hand and led him down a path that he had not seen. It was full of dust and grime. Like it had not been ventured on for a long time.

Around a few corners they came to a large metal door. Small holes throughout the door allowed some light to sine through. Jean pressed her hand to the door and smiled. The feelings were coming from whatever was behind it. 

*I tried getting through, but I can't. * She said, taking her hand from the door and looking at The Professor with lost eyes.

*Are you sure you want to see what's behind there Jean? It could be anything. Something that could change your whole life as you know it.*

*I would rather know why I have these feelings hidden. Even through all the pain and hurt I feel that love overcoming everything.* Jean looked down and smiled weakly. *Before I started having the nightmares, before the evil started coming from this door, I'd come sit by it sometimes. It's like I could feel everything that was going on inside. So much hope. So much love. Feelings of compassion I'd never felt before.*

*Jean, all you have to do is want to go in. It's your mind. You have the power to do anything here.*

*Maybe I do Charles. Maybe I just didn't want to do this alone.*

The door started to crack and crumble. The heavy groan was like that of someone finally letting go of such a tremendous burden. It slowly opened to reveal bright light that made them both blind for a few moments.

They both peered through the door and Jean was shocked by what she saw. To the Professor though, it was just a playback of one of his most precious student's life. Inside he watched Jean learning how to use her powers. Three young men by her side, learning with her. Strangers growing into friends. Friends growing into lovers. His precious X-Men.

He closed his eyes. His own memories flooding in.

When the Professor looked again the world around him had changed to a beautiful yard full of green and reds, yellows, and a brilliant blue sky. Soon he heard laughter and two people came into view.

One was Jean, and the other was a tall brown haired man with red glasses on. They were walking hand in hand. Love shown on their faces. The Professor watched them stop and the man looked at Jean and kissed her so deeply it made his own heart ache. He watched the man get down on one knee and purpose to her. The joy on his face proved that she must have said yes.

The world flew by and soon he was watching another scene. Almost like a movie. This time Jean and the man were in a home. Jean was playing with a small red headed child and the man was taking a photo of them. The Professor could feel the love coming from them. From their home. Their child. 

He looked over at Jean and noticed she was crying. Soon the picture changed again and this time the X-Men stood before him. Above was The Dark Phoenix. He felt strength, contempt, jealousy radiating from her being. Voices now. He heard his X-Men shouting at her. Shouting at her to remember everything she had. Remember the people she loved. 

"Jean please! Remember me! Give her back damn you!" He heard the man cry out.

"Why do you care about this body?!" Phoenix shouted at him. Professor looked at the utter pain come across the man's face.

"Because I love her!"

"Love? What is this love?" Phoenix scoffed at him.

"Please Jean..I need you." He watched the man get on his knees. Something he's never seen him do before. In all his years of knowing that young man he had never seen him give up like that.

*Scott. help me.* the Professor heard Jean. Not in the movie playing before him, but now in her mind.

A blast filled the screen and the young man fell to his side. The phoenix burst into laughter and then the picture faded away. Soon both he and Jean were back in the darkness.

*His name was Scott. I loved him, and I destroyed him. These are the nightmares that have haunted me. These are my memories that have been locked away. These were real weren't they?*

*Yes I'm afraid they are Jean.*

*Why don't I remember anything? Why didn't I remember him? I felt so much love for that man yet I haven't remembered any of it until now?*

*The Phoenix seemed to have destroyed all your memories before she took over. When we found you, you remembered nothing of the Phoenix, of your past, of Scott. We thought it best not to tell you. To let you go on with your life. You fell in love with Logan and started anew. You seemed happy again.*

Jean sat herself down and cried harder. The professor sat next to her and tried to comfort her.

*My child I am sorry. I know how much you loved him. How much he loved you. The feelings you shared and your life together.*

*It's like it's happening right now. The pain I'm feeling is nothing I've ever felt before. Oh Scott!*

And she wept. She shut the Professor out and she wept in the depths of her mind. Once again, watching the memories playing over and over. Watching what she used to have. What she had forgotten. What she had given up.

*****************************************************************

Jean sat, staring out her bedroom window. She had moved to her own room since all her previous memories flooded back. Now all that seemed to be on her mind was Scott. How she missed him so much. How everyday that she woke up, she realized that he was really gone. So much had happened since he had disappeared, and she hadn't a clue.

She remembered waking up after she defeated the evil inside her. After she had watched it destroy Scott in front of her eyes. After she watched herself destroy Scott.

She cringed and a tear fell down her face.

Just then she heard a knock at her door. She watched it slowly open and Logan peaked his head in. He smiled and walked quietly over to her.

"I'm sorry Red. For everything." he whispered.

"Logan.you did nothing wrong. You made me happy. Now I've got to deal with my memories, my pain, and the pain I'm causing others." she looked up at him, the hurt shown on his face. "I should be the one who's sorry."

Logan looked down at her and smiled. This women he loved. This woman he was lucky to share a part of his life with. Now he had to give her up.

"You know Red. Cyke's body was never found. There still could be a chance that maybe he's out there somewhere. Even the Professor said it's not unheard of. Heh.. I remember when we thought a red head was gone forever. Then look who rose up from the ashes." Logan tried hard to smile at her. A part of him wished that it would never happen, yet a part of him would do anything just to make the girl he loved, happy again.

"No Logan. I don't feel him anymore." She said, tapping her head.

Tears started falling down her cheeks and Logan knew that maybe it was time for him to leave now. To let her think and grieve. It may have been a while for him since all of this happened, but to Jean it seemed like only yesterday.

He bent down and kissed her forehead. "I'll leave you be now. If you need anything don't be afraid to ask."

"Thank you Logan. Really."

"I know Red. I know." with that he walked out of the room and left her staring out the window again.

Jean started to thinking about old times again. Started to thinking about Scott. To really think about him, how she used to.

* I miss you so much my love* she sent out to anyone listening. The ones who heard felt the pain and sorrow of that mind. And then.

* I love you too Jean*

Her eyes gazed out the window and she opened her mind up. Tried looking for that familiar voice. A hope grew in her heart, in her chest, in her throat.

Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance another X-men would rise from the ashes.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been months since Jean's memories had come back to her. Everyday since then, thoughts of Scott Summers had invaded her mind. Sometimes she would spend hours a day dreaming about him. About their life together, before the Phoenix. Usually these happy memories would be soiled by the thought of his death. Then she would start back where she was, an awful mess.

*Maybe the professor was right. Maybe I should just have kept all these feelings and memories locked away. Anything to get rid of this horrible pain.* she thought as she studied the pictures above the fireplace.

Deep down she knew she was wrong. No matter how much pain she endured each day over the loss of her husband, it was all worth it for the happy memories she could once again recall.

She rifled through the many photos in the library and came upon one of the original X-Men. Hank, Bobby, Warren, Her, and Scott. All dressed in their graduate gowns. How silly they all looked, but how proud they all were to adorn those gowns. As much as they were proud to wear their uniforms.

She thought back to the first day she arrived at Xavier's Institute. She had felt so insecure and scared. She had even thought about having the cab turn around and take her home. The school helped her tremendously though. She learned to accept who she was. How to get along in society and how to socialize. She made wonderful friends who were now her family.

"Hehe.." she laughed a bit as she remembered the first time she met everyone. How the boys tried to show off and impress her. It was Scott that had caught her eye though. His natural leadership and take charge attitude.

"Not to mention his good looks and charm."

'Oh Jean, you are too polite." a voice came from behind her.

Jean spun around, almost dropping the picture she held.

"Hank… I didn't know I was speaking aloud. I didn't know I had company for that matter." She said, obviously startled.

"Well I'm sorry to surprise you Miss Grey." He said, flashing a smile. He looked down at what she held in her hand, and his smile disappeared. "Oh, the adventures we had back then." he said softly.

"Yes. The many adventures of the spandex gang." She gave a little snort, which quickly broke into laughter.

"Ah yes, the infamous yellow suits! May it not be too bold of me to say so Miss Grey, but I thought you adorned yours quite well." He gave another smile and a light shove against her shoulder.

"Why Mr. McCoy, I assumed you learned your lesson the first time we met? Do we need another demonstrations of my telekinesis?"

Hank laughed and put his arm around her shoulder. "What memories aye?"

Jean looked down at the picture she was holding and frowned. "Yes, what memories." she whispered.

Hank noticed a tear drip down her cheek and he wiped it away.

"You know Jean, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always here for you. So are the rest of the X-Men. They say it's better to let everything out, then to keep it bottled inside to fester." he waited for her to say something but she kept quiet. "You know Jean, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always…."

Jean playfully hit his shoulder. "I get it, I get it" she said with a soft smile. "It's just that sometimes Hank, I swear I can feel him out there. It's like a little whisperer in the back of my head. It's there one minute, than it's gone. My head is telling me it can't be real, because I saw him…." another tear fell from her face. "…but my heart is begging me to believe. Sometimes I wonder if I should just face the facts and try and be happy. I've hurt someone who I deeply care about, but maybe in the long run I'm just hurting myself."

"Jean, you, and only you, can decide what to do in this situation. It's been over a year since the Phoenix, and I hate to say this, but everyday that passes is just another day that Scott Summers is not a part of our lives. How long can you give up your life for a memory? I love you Jean, so I do not want to see you fade away from the strong and loving person that you are."

Jean nodded her head in understanding. "I suppose your right Hank. I shouldn't hold on to something that isn't there. I would only be hurting myself in the end. Giving up my chance to once again have a life and be happy."

Jean gave Hank a hug and headed for the door.

"It's late, and I think there's someone I need to have a word with."

Hank nodded. "I suppose it's time for me to head to bed as well. Early Danger Room session with Bobby and Rouge."

************************************************************************

Logan was just about to go to sleep when he heard a knock at the door.

"Ergh.. Who the hell? At this hour…" he mumbled, wrapping a towel around his naked lower half.

Before he could get to the door, it opened a crack and a familiar voice gently called out.

"Logan? Are you there?"

Logan's heart jumped into his throat and he stopped in his tracks. He could smell her soft smell and her voice send shivers down his spine. "Jean."

Jean poked her head in the door and smiled. "Are you busy?" she asked, looking down at the towel that was now slipping from his waist.

"Oh." Logan said, surprised, grabbing at the towel. "Yeh, come in darlin'. I'll be back in a sec."

He walked off towards the bathroom and Jean came in and sat down on the edge of his bed. She could smell his musty scent and it brought back something familiar and comforting. A minute later, Logan walked back into the room, now clad in nothing but a pair of jeans.

Jean's gaze shifted to his muscular upper body and his strong shoulders. A lust came over her body and mind.

"Is there somethin' wrong Red?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

Jean, looked down and thought about how she would start off.

"Hank and I…well we were talking downstairs and…"

Logan raised an eyebrow and a few ideas of how that sentence would end, came to mind.

" Well Logan, Hank made me realize that maybe I should learn to accept the fact that Scott is gone. That maybe this was my chance to come to terms with what happened. To work on myself and getting my powers more under control. I want to start things slowly, but I'd like to work on other aspects of my life as well."

Logan felt a hope rise in him. "You mean…."

"Us." she said, taking his hand.

He looked at the women before him. This gorgeous redhead with the prettiest green eyes he'd ever seen. The most important thing in his life. He had another chance to give her anything she'd ever want. To make her the happiest person in the world.

"Do ya mean it Red? Because if ya don't… I don't think I could handle it to tell ya the truth."

"I mean it Logan. I'd like to take it slow, but I mean it. I just want a chance to grow and learn to do this without someone holding my hand along the way."

Logan stood up and pulled Jean up next to him. "I may have my problems Red, but as long as I have the hope of the women of my dreams being by my side, I'd wait for eternity."

Logan grabbed Jean and pulled her close. His hand went to her chin and he pulled her head close to his. He softly kissed her lips and smelled her sweet smell. A tear once more fell from Jean's cheek. Logan wiped it away and kissed her again, more fiercely this time. 

Jean's hand reached up and she put them around Logan's neck and kissed him back. She needed this. She needed the comfort of his warm embrace and the love he had to offer. Their bodies pressed close and Logan's lips wandered from her lips, down to her collar bone and up her neck. 

Jean let out a satisfying moan and let her hands fall down to his side, where she ran them along is hips and up his back, pulling his closer.

Logan took a few steps towards her, causing her to walk backwards, toward the bed. She felt the corner hit the back of her knees and she was gently laid down on the soft mattress. Logan kissed her more now, and ran his hands down her stomach to her jeans, where he stopped and started to unbuttoned them. Jean did the same with his, almost wanting to tear them off in her desire.

When he felt her hands wander up from his jeans to his shoulders he stopped and looked at her. He needed to know if she really wanted this. He needed to know it just wasn't because she missed "him".

"Red?"

Jean looked up at the man on top of her and smiled. Her hands grasped the back of his head and she pulled him closer, kissing him deeply, taking away any worry he had.

Outside, a figure watched the window on the second floor. He was sure of what he had seen, although he didn't care nor want to believe it. It was her, in another's arms. More importantly, in HIS arms. 

The rain started coming down and lightening cracked through the air. It didn't matter to him though. Scott Summers had come home to claim what was his.


End file.
